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Stan # 103: Tuesday is swearing day. Is everybody happy? You bet your f***ing life we are!
The Country which has withdrawn
from the EU was, of course, Greenland, so called to persuade settlers to move
there. It is, of course, almost entirely white. There was a referendum. It has
been suggested that Algeria was also part of the EU/EEC because part of current
Algeria was an integral part of France during the early years. France has this
unusual way of organising territories. For example, St Pierre et Miquelon is also a part of France even though it is just
off the coast of Canada. The same applies to La Reunion which is near
Mauritius. There are many others.
Easter is the time when (in the Northern hemisphere) things start to grow, animals and birds reproduce and
Christians celebrate the rebirth of Jesus. We feel it is a good time to refresh
the garden and redecorate. It’s the busiest time of the year for d-i-y shops. Sales of chocolate soar with 10% of annual sales
being made at Easter. The first chocolate egg was made in 1875 by Fry’s of
Bristol and each child will receive 8.8 chocolate eggs on average (the 0.2
being bitten off by a parent). I have no information on the size of these eggs,
or how long they last or the effect of the choc-fest on the health of the
children. I do know that most people attack a chocolate bunny by biting off the
ears first. Is this you?
Have you ever considered how odd the names of the days are? Called after Norse gods.
The seven-day week is pretty ancient. The Greeks had it, but it was by no means
universal. The Romans were a step ahead with an eight-day week, the eighth day,
the nundina, being for markets, sacrifices and
invading Gaul. The Romans who were so efficient at so
many things, were useless at numbers, so they didn’t have names for the days of
the week, just names for three days of the month. Calends, nones, ides. To get a specific date, you counted
back from a fixed day. And then they moved from an eight-day week to the
continental seven. The books say they did this gradually. How do you lose a day
gradually? ”, you said you’d finish the
decorating three days before ides, and here we are, six days after calends and it’s
still not done”.”Hang about Julius, keep your toga on. You’re still playing
with the full eight-day week. We’re phasing it out, dear. We only use the
eighth day once a month”.
The Ottomans, the plonkers who invented bureaucracy, made a huge book-keeping
cock-up. They had two calendars. One for civil servants, the
other for agriculture. Over the years, they diverged so much that tax
dates lost contact with the harvest, and the empire collapsed in a brainache of pederasty, silk strangulation, sherbet and
rotting pomegranates. The Mayans also had two calendars: one was astronomic,
the other predestinatory. That was a list of things
that had happened on certain days of the year for hundreds of years. They
augured good or evil for particular dates. So you’d arrange to have your
wedding on the one calendar and then check that this wasn’t the day where they
always lost FA Cup matches and it usually rained. The Mayans collapsed in a
depression of bad luck when they realised that every day of the year was going
The first day of the week is
Sunday, the day God rested. Unless you’re Jewish in which case, it’s Saturday,
as it was for the Romans. For computers, atheists and some diaries, it’s Monday
as do the Slavs and the Balts, but not the Finns. In
Iceland, Saturday is, Laugardagur:washing
day. Most of the rest of the week is simply numbered. Northern Europe took on
the Norse god names in the Dark Ages, during the general Krautification
of Latin. The Wagnerian deities kicked out their opposite numbers. Monday, the
Moon god, was called Mani. Tuesday, Tyr or Tiw, was
the one-armed god of battle and swearing. If you are trying to moderate your
language, you could just try swearing on Swearing Day or Tuesday. Thursday was
for Thor, who, like Jupiter, had a thunderbolt as his superpower. Friday was
Freya’s day, who replaced Venus as a blonder, more pneumatic disciplinarian
goddess of love, sex and bondage. Sunday was the sun god.
Maednesday belonged to Odin, though the Germans oddly
call it Mittwoch (midweek). The Romans knew it as
Mercury’s day. Mercury and Odin have little in common, except - and here’s the
good bit - they were both psychpomps. A psychopomp is a guide, an intermediary between the living
and the dead. They take souls over the river. Almost every religion owns this
character, who without judgment and great solemnity,
helps the shades to the further shore. Charon is the
most famous, but Jung used the mystical idea of the psychopomps
as a link between the ego and the id, the ethereal conductor of dreams, from
the unconscious to the conscious.
Now I hope all is clear why there
is much confusion in the World.