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Work in the media? Struggle with statistics? Stan's irreverent (and often irrelevant) review of the latest media reports, news and gossip may not help at all... Stan the Statistician

Stan # 24: Murder or suicide? 1 July 1999

Knowing that my readers like a challenge, I provide you with this improbable story, submitted by a reader, to ponder.

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given by the American Association for Forensic Science, AAFS president Don Harper Mills astounded his audience in San Diego with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:

On 23 March 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide (he left a note indicating his despondency). As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the eighth floor level to protect some window washers and that Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide anyway because of this.

Ordinarily, Dr. Mills continued, a person who sets out to commit suicide ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended. That Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not have changed his mode of death from suicide to homicide. But the fact that his suicidal intent would not have been successful caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing and he was threatening her with the shotgun. He was so upset that, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife and pellets went through the window striking Opus. When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B.

When confronted with this charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. The old man said it was his long standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her - therefore, the killing of Opus appeared to be an accident. That is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal incident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

There was an exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son, one Ronald Opus, had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a ninth story window.

The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

More thoughts of a less taxing kind:

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.

And some gems from the UK press:

From the Radio Times, a radio and TV listings magazine, telling us what is in store from Classic FM, "Mozart Piano Concerto No 20 in D minor K466. Conducted by the composer". I bet that performance was fairly lifeless.

From the Birmingham Evening Mail, "An 80 year old woman from Bolton bought Cliff Richard's single, Move It, in 1959 but she has still not heard it because she has never owned a record player". Now how on Earth did this fascinating fact come to the attention of this newspaper? Why was this scoop missed by the Bolton Evening News? Probably because in Bolton, this sort of thing is too common place to make the news.

From the Ilkeston Advertiser, "Marilyn and Barrie Potter are proud to announce the birth of our grandfather, Jodi Francesca, a sister for James". Perhaps we need to call again for the services of someone from Star Trek to explain this in terms of time lines and temporal distortions. May I request that Seven of Nine gets in touch.

From the Daily Telegraph (England), a letter, "Sir, I had just finished a wedding rehearsal when the bridegroom came back. 'Oh, vicar,' he said. 'Will you please be sure to include the word obey in the bride's promise?' 'Well', I said, 'I am more often asked to leave it out, but I will include it if you want me to'. 'Oh, he said, 'I'm not bothered myself, but she wants it in and I always do what she says.'"

Check in again at my desk soon!
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