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Stan # 57: Strange Quotes February 2002

Another very special moment to enjoy: 22 Feb at two minutes and twenty seconds past eight o'clock in the evening. 20022022022002. Just how much palindrome can you handle?

Strange quotes:

All you have to do is go down to the bottom of your swimming pool and hold your breath.
-- David Miller, US DOE spokesperson, on protecting yourself from nuclear radiation
No one wants to say the sky is falling, but in this instance I am afraid the emperor has no clothes. Despite Herculean efforts by the Council and Council staff, we are still only dealing with the tip of the iceberg.
-- Charles Millard, NYC councilman, in a press release
People say I'm extravagant because I want to be surrounded by beauty. But tell me, who wants to be surrounded by garbage?
-- Imelda Marcos, one-time Philippine first lady, and owner of 3,000 pairs of shoes
We've been working on the basics because, basically, we've been having trouble with the basics.
-- Bob Ojeda, baseball pitcher
It is beyond my apprehension.
-- Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies team manager, regarding his team's losing streak
Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite.
-- Dan Quayle, US VP, head of the Space Council
And now the sequence of events in no particular order.
-- Dan Rather, CBS television news anchor
At present there are such goings-on that everything is at a standstill.
-- Sir Boyle Roche
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, at a federal anti-smoking campaign spokes person interview
I have nothing to say, and I'll only say it once.
-- Floyd Smith, NHL Hockey coach

Some time ago, I was given a cutting from a Sunday newspaper in which a journalist had done a survey of surveys in British newspapers in one week. Now, of course, no one should ever trust a journalist but just in case there is a grain of truth in it, I give you the following extracts:

Britian's national newspapers ran 196 stories. Subjects covered included:
the economy(16.3%),
property (7.6%),
work (7.6%),
education (7.1%),
cars (6.6%),
TV (3.6%),
dentists (2%).

Baxter's, the soup people, claimed that 96% of people with a taste for chicken broth claim to be reliable.

Country mushroom soup fans tend to be faithfuland carrot and coriander slurpers are broad-minded.

More than half of Britain's DIY buffs live surrounded by unfinished improvements. Well, no surprise there.

Who would folk like to have that last dance with? Tom Cruise and Anna Kournikova. Not both at the same time I guess.

Which novelist would you most like to see naked? David Baddiel and Julie Burchill. Would this be to lust over or to see humiliated?

"Alcohol and calculus don't mix, never drink and derive"

THIRTEEN MISUNDERSTANDINGS IN THE HISTORY OF MATHEMATICS

In the interest of historical accuracy let it be known that ....

  • Fibonacci's daughter was not named "Bunny."
  • Michael Rolle was not Danish, and did not call his daughter "Tootsie."
  • William Horner was not called "Little-Jack" by his friends.
  • The "G" in G. Peano does not stand for "grand."
  • Rene Descartes' middle name is not "push."
  • Isaac Barrow's middle name is not "wheel."
  • There is no such place as the University of Wis-cosine, and if there was, the motto of their mathematics department would not be "Secant ye shall find."
  • Although Euler is pronounced oil-er, it does not follow that Euclid is pronounced oi-clid.
  • Franklin D. Roosevelt never said "The only thing we have to sphere is sphere itself."
  • Fibonacci is not a shortened form of the Italian name that is actually spelled: F i bb ooo nnnnn aaaaaaaa ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
  • It is true that August Mobius was a difficult and opinionated man. But he was not so rigid that he could only see one side to every question.
  • It is true that Johannes Kepler had an uphill struggle in explaining his theory of elliptical orbits to the other astronomers of his time. And it is also true that his first attempt was a failure. But it is not true that after his lecture the first three questions he was asked were "What is elliptical?" What is an orbit?" and "What is a planet?"
  • It is true that primitive societies use only rough approximations for the known constants of mathematics. For example, the northern tribes of Alaska consider the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of a circle to be 3. But it is not true that the value of 3 is called Eskimo pi. Incidentally, the survival of these tribes is dependent upon government assistance, which is not always forthcoming. For example, the Canadian firm of Tait and Sons sold a stock of defective compasses to the government at half-price, and the government passed them onto the northern natives. Hence the saying among these peoples: "He who has a Tait's is lost."

Check in again at my desk soon!
stan@adweb.co.uk

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