Work in the media? Struggle with statistics? Stan's irreverent (and often irrelevant) review of the latest media reports, news and gossip may not help at all...
Stan # 70: Best headlines of 2002
My readers are fascinated by trivia. This should come as no surprise as reading my desk top and trivia are essentially the same thing. So, here are a few questions:
What is the dot over a letter called?
What is a pregnant goldfish called?
What do you call the plastic things on the end of shoelaces?
What is the longest one-syllable word in the English language?
How many muscles are there in a cat's ear?
'Canada' is an Indian word meaning - what?
Which fruit family are almonds a member of?
What would Barbie's measurements be if she were life sized?
Answers on my next desktop as usual.
THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2002...
"Crack Found on Governor's Daughter"
"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"
"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"
"Iraqi Head Seeks Arms"
"Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?"
"Prostitutes Appeal to Pope"
"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"
"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"
"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"
"War Dims Hope for Peace"
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"
"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
WHY IT'S SO HARD TO PULL A MUSSEL
The intimate secrets of pearl mussels make popular reading in the broadsheets today, after English Nature announced it would need to set up the mussel equivalent of dating agencies to stave off extinction. Pearl hunting has reduced mussel numbers in English rivers to the point that the little creatures are living all alone in empty beds.
English Nature plans to step in, perhaps moving the boys and girls closer together to increase their chances of pulling.
Apologies to my many fans who wondered where I have been. Well, a donkey on the beach gets a break now and then. Don't worry, I'm not ready for trading in my abacus just yet.